Articles
The Sacred Work of Heartbreak: Relinquishing the God-like Fantasy of Love
God is love, or so they say. But in our increasingly secular society—one in which most people I know spend far more time on dating apps than in places of worship—the opposite has become true: love is God.
God I Love You: Romantic Love as a Place of Spiritual Practice
The moment romantic love is removed from its unrealistic place in the heavens and brought down the earth — the moment that flimsy rom-com fantasy bubble bursts — is the very moment you have the opportunity to truly make love a place of spiritual practice.
It’s Not You, It’s My Unconscious
In those moments, I can remind myself that not feeling and not falling is really no one’s fault. When sparks don’t fly, it truly is not personal. For when it comes to matters of the heart, the subjective, unconscious hunch that someone may help us heal and further foster the evolution of our soul far outweighs how objectively attractive or successful they are.
To the Broken-Hearted, with Love
Instead, it ruthlessly confronted us with a challenging paradox: COVID slowed our world to a grinding halt, yet simultaneously accelerated relationships. It’s almost as if our physical movement was replaced, in direct proportion, with emotional movement. Where we could not go without, we had to go within.
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Our Dark Night of the Soul
Often an old self has to die – like a snake that sheds its skin – to make way for a new self to emerge. Yet, in between the old and new lies a terrifying emptiness; we cannot go back because the old self no longer exists, and we cannot move forward because a new self has yet to form. We have no choice but to wait, to surrender to the unknown…
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Dating: We’re Doing It Wrong
But here’s the rub; love is not entirely in our control. And finding it does not directly correlate with how hard we search. In fact, the more we think love is up to us, the more aggressively we hunt, play the “numbers game,” and strategize, all of which paradoxically inhibit feeling. And love is a feeling. It is a natural, emotional process felt in our bodies.
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Til Death do us Part: An Exploration Between Love and Death
But, when we love acknowledging our vulnerability to death, we open ourselves to a new form of connection. Love with death in mind is rich, deep, and awakened. It is true love, and by that, I mean it is love based on the truth – that you do not ever really have anyone, that you can, and in fact will lose the people you love, and you don’t know when. Through this lens, gratitude, passion, and romance with our partners can flourish because love is free to be exactly what it is: transient, just like life.
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Meditations
A meditation (done in pairs) to help put you into contact with mortality salience and thus deeper, more full love.
A meditation (done in pairs) to put you into contact with transience, our inevitable mortality.
A meditation for the broken-hearted. It is recommended you lay down and listen with headphones.
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